I spent the last hour and a half trying to compose some poetry in Latin. I'm willing to bet it's dog Latin (mutt Latin, at that), because my grasp of the language is tenuous.

But if your grasp is decent, can you scan this and tell me if it makes sense?

Eruo

Miser perturbatio, miser quemadmodum.
Exanimus mihi.
Vindici, transporto meus mucro amor.
Talionis cum meus gladius imbibo meus cruorem.

Tags: latin, poetry, writing
Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: Sneaker Pimps - Black Sheep

Taekwondo monkeys attack trainer: "At one point the monkey trainer grabbed a staff to hit the monkeys, only to find himself facing a stick-brandishing monkey that cracked him over the head."

Alexander of Greece: The king that was killed by a monkey.

Beaver Attacks Boy In Southern Okla.: This kid will grow up to have a seriously kick-ass story. And just might become gay. Heh.

Aquarium lowers water levels after feeding turtles brussel sprouts: My favourite Christmas news story.

Kinkiness Beyond Kinky: Ducks are nasty. You have to see these videos. Have to.

Goat climbs nearly vertical wall: I miss my goats.

Tags: critters, links
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Christmas company in the other room

(This will be added to as new bons mots occur).

snowy_kathryn: I'm really proud of my Christmas poo!

raine_storm's husband to her: It's Christmas. Can I come down your chimney? (My 2-year old nephew thought this was hilarious)

Mat: That's not fat. That's moonblub.
Me: Moonblub! I've never heard that term before! It almost sounds romantic.
snowy_kathryn: There's nothing romantic about moonblub.

Peter: To me, you will forever be associated with snowballing.

Me: Gravy is the new salad dressing.

Current Mood: sore
Current Music: The Knife - We Share Our Mother's Health

I made this the other day. It was delicious. Mmmm.....

Cake:

1/2 cup vegetable oil (I used extra-virgin olive oil)
2 squares sweet chocolate (I used dark)
3/4 cup water
1/2 cup mashed over-ripe banana
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 1/4 cup flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla

Topping:

1/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar (I use demerara)
2 tbsp butter
2 tbsp milk
3/4 cup chocolate chips
1/3 cup chopped pecans

Cake:

• Heat oil and chocolate in 8" square pan in 350 oven for about 5 minutes.
  
• Add water, banana, sugar, egg, flour, salt, baking soda, and vanilla. Beat with fork until smooth and creamy.
  
• Spread evenly.
  
• Bake at 350 for 40-45 minutes, or until toothpick inserted in centre comes out clean.

Topping:

• Combine brown sugar, butter, milk, chocolate chips, and nuts. Mix well.
  
• Spread evenly over baked cake.
  
• Put back in oven until all the chocolate is melted.

Tags: photo of the day, recipes
Current Mood: hungry
Current Music: IamX - Nightlife

I remember being in grade nine with my friend Donna, skipping out on gym class yet again by hiding out in the equipment room.

A mentally disabled boy followed us, once. I can't remember his name. He was about my age. He had no friends. No one ever spoke to him.

We started playing catch with him, and he erupted into pure joy. His face was split by an enormous grin, and he danced around and clapped his hands in absolute happiness.

I have no other memories of him.

Tags: bio
Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: IamX - White Suburb Impressionism

So yeah, I've been busy. A week ago today, I was in a big car accident, but because I am a superhero, made it out relatively unscathed. And that is despite sitting in the passenger seat of this:



Once I figured out Steph and snowy_kathryn weren't in multiple pieces, I got out and checked out the people in the other car.

No one was seriously injured. Lots of bad bruises, but no broken bones. Phew....

I got to ride in the ambulance with a cute paramedic named Brad. And I threatened to draw moustaches and penises on Steph's face while she was strapped in to the spinal board. I kept the denizens of the emergency room giggling all night with my shenanigans. Heheheh....

I must say, I am now a big fan of air bags. Oh yes.

....

Tonight, I'm off to tailchaser's Decemberween/birthday party! There will be cupcakes and overcrowding and costumes. And no more car crashes. I decree it thus.

Tags: photo of the day
Current Music: Chris Corner - You're the Conversation

My friend Steph and I want to get together and start making a variety of crafts for sale. Everything from handmade books and pouches to jewellery to full costumes. Last night, I mocked up a pattern for some simple stuff, and knocked off my first prototype. Woohoo!

I learned a nifty new word the other day: accismus. The word sums up the fable of the fox and the grapes succinctly.

Time to clear some of my tabs. Holy moly, they're overstuffed, like tomatoes or peppers. Mmmm....

Vanishing Act: In search of Eva Tanguay, the first rock star: I'm not sure I agree with the assessment that Eva was the first rock star. I think Franz Liszt might fill that position. But, the story is very interesting nonetheless!

Funky Masquerade Costume: Jeammy sent me this, and I really like it. I think I could make something similar. Doesn't look the most skin-friendly, though.

Exploding Chewing Gum Blows Off Student's Jaw : Very weird.

Latin Profanity: Yes, I'm still on my Latin kick, although I must say I'm enjoying the phrases better than learning the grammar.

Inside the Mind of Gloria Brame: How could I have forgotten about this? I used to visit this page daily. Silly me.

The Cobra Penis Cap: NSFW. Why should hats only be worn on your head (thanks, Matt)?

Turkish Star Wars Part 2: So bad it's EPIC! Full of blatantly ripped off Star Wars and Indiana Jones, with dreadful costuming, a heavy reliance on trampolines. And I think I saw a scene from Clash of the Titans in there, too (thanks, sarcasm_hime).

MEOW: Because cats fear the zombie invasion, too. AWESOME (thanks, elanya)!

How to Make a Schadenfreude Pie: I made this recipe the other day. It refused to set, no matter how long I baked it. Would probably do better with a quarter cup of flour added to the mix. Still, it was a delicious kitchen fuck-up.

Laredo Could Be Largest US City Without Bookstore: A population of a quarter-million, and no book store? Oh dear (thanks, g026r).

The octopus who loves his Mr Potato Head: I hate anthropomorphic tubers. This octopus is my enemy.

Noisy sex woman admits Asbo breach: "Caroline and Steve Cartwright's love-making was described as 'murder' and 'unnatural' at Newcastle Crown Court."

Oh, for fun, I'm looking for some last-minute ideas on ways a night-loving being might celebrate the longest night of the year. Time, like daylight, is running short! Any ideas?

Tags: costuming, links
Current Mood: okay
Current Music: IamX - You Stick it in Me

BOOBBOSHSOSH omg

Current Mood: amused